Real concern was being expressed in our prestigious neighbouring town this Easter as an apparently sane local man was threatening to move out of Malahide but NOT move to Donabate. The man whose identity we will not reveal for fear of reprisal spoke exclusively to SSS :
(Using Google map and detailed instructions we gave the man directions to a landmark public house on Main Street, Swords to record our interview. Due to him suffering repeated panic attacks on approaching the area we eventually gave in and met the man in the Pavilions Shopping Centre)
"Everyday a new friend or colleague is moving to Donabate. Since the Millennium very few can afford to stay so one by one they all go there. A few have gone to Seabury claiming it's Malahide but that's ridiculous and everybody laughs at them behind their back..."
So began our interview with Fergal a twenty-eight year old chartered accountant. His face paled and his voiced strained as he described his "nightmare future" as he sees it. "I mean TWO pubs how could I cope ? There's only one restaurant and no Dart. There's non-Irish walking along the Main Street, some not even speaking English our native language. You don't know where they went to school and even who their dad was ! "
As a table attendant of African origin cleared his latte cup Fergal suffered another panic attack and had to terminate the interview. Within minutes our reporter could see his Audi convertible speed towards the Malahide roundabout destined for "home". It's understood that since our interview Fergal has received intensive psychiatric help over the last fortnight and is hoped will move to shared accommodation in The Links, Donabate as part of "Systematic Desensitization" therapy. We wish him well.
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